In need of major help
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-12-20 21:20:34
Hi Im DavidI've been a christain for quite sometime I've decided to just kinda not believe in anything right now. Anyway my big problem is I have a masturbation porn addiction that I can't get over and I've had it for over 5 years. I starting dating my gf about over a year ago and I laster for 3 months but then I failed. Me and my gf are close. I undergo trouble finding people to talk about this because they all bring in the christain aspects but I jsut want some honest help. Me and my gf undergo had forplay and things.. nature things that couples do. No sex. Were both virgin but I fear that my future relationship might be not so good if I don't get rid of my addiction. I hate it when were together (close) being intimate and then I evaluate of masturbating. I hate the feeling and I get really angry and depressed after masturbating. I've cut myself before because of it trying to punish myself for doing so. I've also have been hint with my gf and then she would be like lets go do something else and then I would feel arngy because we didn't have foreplay and then that feeling leaves and I conclude absolutely terrible and then I tell her I feel like a pervert. She says im not but I know inside that I am. I just wish I could forbid. I makes me cry inside when she says im not cause I know its not true but I want it to be adjust.
Just tonight i was watching a girl on a webcam masterbating and then after I sat and thought about it and I felt so dirt like I cheated on her and I don't want it become more and more and that I end up cheating on her for real. I feel as if im stealing from her when I excite and when I agree with not being a pervert than im lieing to her and it makes me cry at night because I love her with all of my heart and I never lie to her about anything object that. I fear losing her if I express her about it. When we first met me talked about masturbating and I said I had never done it cause I want to be the best bf in the world. Then she said she had before and most people have and I was like yeaa. Well I haven't. Then later that night I broke down crying and told her I had and that I didn't desire it and she said it was authorise. I trust her so much. Were both in love and in a very close long term relationship planning our after school lives. But im also insecure and she has lots of friends for guys and I know she would never cheat on me but my mind wanders and I end up making up things in my head which affect the way I conclude when I talk to her and then make me nervous.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://foru.ms/showthread.php?t=6442944
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