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A bright sparkly afternoon outside. The sun is radiating the last of its goodness before giving way to the more subdued tones of the evening. All is well save for a little one caught in the throes of the sniffles and the ensuing battle of the body in pursuit. He tries to put up a smile but his body reminds him once too often and he dissolves into pitiful cries. He's been up for 3 hours since he last rested and I know he should sleep. I resort to the fiery goodness of a Vicks Vaporub. I rub it persistently on his chest until I feel a warmth rising. Repeat the same on the soles of his little baby feet and then trap the heat with his socks. And a little dab on the forehead and a little dab on the nostrils. It is enough to set him wailing in the agony of the stinging heat. He whimpers while I prop up some pillows to cushion his little head and back. He is not one to and I have to push him back into the softness willing him to stay put so I can move onto the job of gentler soothing. Perhaps a song will work. No. It doesn't. I look at him.. all watery eyes and a faintly pink nose. I try patting him very firmly... . it works for a few seconds only to give way to the restlessness once more. I begin to get a little desperate. Suddenly. I remember Why not. I think??? and he stops fidgeting and looks at me in mid-cry. I say it then a little more deeply loudly and with faith.. and he completely stills his body surrendering the fight of movement and giving in to the sated bliss of the vibration. He sinks into the pillow his eyes locked into mine a picture of repose and emptiness. I go on chanting.. and I go on patting an unbroken symphony of sound and movement depth and gentleness everything and nothing. His eyes are still open but his face is turned away.. towards the window. He silently scans the cars whizzing past on the road.. or does he? Not even a blink interrupts the gaze and now I know that the eyes are unseeing. It is an empty gaze emanating from the peace within his body. By now the sizzling heat of the Vicks has died away to a refreshing coolness. His voice breaks out in a gentle accompaniment to my continued chanting. He goes on like this for sometime while I keep up the symphony. His eyes are glazing over with sleep... but still remain open. My thoughts wander away from him and settle deep within me. The vibrations which started as a way to pacify are now casting a spell over me. I conjecture on what I read once about how Ganesha was said to be born when the Eternal Couple contemplated on AUM. How this symbol can be seen when he is viewed sideways... I close my eyes and focus completely on the sensations it generates. The doesn't take much effort.. it feels like a natural sound something that will rise to the lips without thought. The is achieved when the mouth is restful and closed. It escapes my lips leaving little tremors behind. And as I say it more and more times. I sink deeper and deeper within it. It slices through all the false layers of the upper voice and releases the voice at the core.. the true voice the deepest voice. And I realise with a start that this is my real voice. And this is the closest I will get to what is original. I open my eyes and see that my hands have continued with the steady movement with a mind of their own. And it has worked for the eyes are gently closed and his little chest rises and falls with his breaths. I increase the interval between each successive pat and chant a little bit more softly. There is no change in his countenance. I stop patting and leave my hand resting on his chest and the is barely a whisper. It makes no difference. He is deep in the recesses of slumber. I retract my hand dimly aware that they ache from the labour of comfort. And when my whispers die out the silence that follows is deafening. Slowly slowly my hand feels normal again and the silence is punctuated by the of the cars passing by outside the window. The serenity radiating from his sleeping form mirrors the state of my mind and heart and I give in to the understated luxury of laying down next to him and closing my eyes for a little while. And just then my eyes fall on the letters embroidered on his little onesie.... Oh my goodness Tharini. Your post which i read first thing in the morning after putting on my glasses just gave me the shivers. It is so very beautiful isn't it? Beautiful powerful and all-pervading. And yes you are so right about the core voice emerging when you let your mouth and body take the "mmm..." and vibrate naturally. That is the real thing that is the voice. And this is why they say "Aum" is holy. hi tharini,first thing after i reach office.. u know what i open.. winkiesways..!its a booster for the day to go ahead.. thanks for sharing it so wonderfully. wishing winkie a faster recovery... Lovely lovely as always... Every night now it has become a ritual for KB to come and "Sanji" (lean) on me and I have to sing a few hymns to him. And I start of the Ganesha Pancharatnam with Om.. and he loves it. That's what he first learnt from his Thatha. I could feel the mood at the end of your post... Hope he is feeling better... WOW! Serene your narration just shook me. Somewhere poetry and prose merged together and and decided to make an appearance here. I am sure the little one benefitted from 'OM' in more ways than one. Have you tried 'Baby vicks' it is milder and do not cause the stinging sensation. Also there are. Sudafed plug-ins. So it helps baby breathe and you can just plug it in the room (it is like 'goodnight mats'). Also to avoid vicks heat a little coconut oil switch off the stove put a little 'Kalpooram' in it. It will dissolve. When it cools down to 'warm' apply it on chest etc.. Get well soon vibes to Sathya. Very serene narration and so peaceful even to read and imagine. ALso very nice tip to sooth my kiddos too! thanks for sharing. BTW i am the same anon from ur other lunch box ideas post. Did u try any of the ideas that i shared? how is it going with lunch boxes now? Also wanted to ask u what is ur thot on homeschooling? hv u thot about it for ur kids? pl share u has asked me to share my name actually u know me and let see if u are able to guess. Suki : I couldn't agree more wholeheartedly. And that is what I learned from your post. That chanting it could bring our your voice like that. It was amazing. Arunima : Yes chillier weather IS here. And about time too. Ahtinav : First thing huh? Wow. Thanks for sharing that with me. CoS : Its one of those 3 day virals if my instincts are right. And he's on Day 2. So still miserable. Vidhur : yeah. I love coconut karpooram combo. I will try that. Thanks. Choxbox : If I have found the key then I still don't know how to use it. A while more before its figured out. Anon : you're increasing the mystery all the more. I can't even take a wild guess. Torture torture. :) Okay... I have no thoughts on homeschooling whatsoever. I only know that I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't have the goods for it in terms of patience and creative resources. I haven;t tried all your ideas yet. Am doing so one by one and posting here as and when time permits. Stay tuned. :) what a lovely post. I hope thambi gets well soon. Don't you hate the fall allergies?Aum is such a beautiful word. The beginning of everything. The link between Ganesha and Aum is so primal in a sense did you know why mooshak is ganpati's vehicle? mooshak also means the chest cavity and ganpati rides on it (controls it). I am so happy you find peace chanting Aum. I should do it too. It has been a while since I stopped by. T and just got caught up with your posts.. wow you amaze me always by taking everyday events and weaving a heart-warming post out of it - no obfuscation no embellishments just telling it as it is with sincerity and elegance... Hope Sathya is feeling better... Have you tried menthol bath - it seemed to soothe Ana sometimes (not consistently though) When my son was about 3,4 months old and used to cry for up to an hour before he fell asleep. I ended up chanting Om to him. That and Asatoma Satgamaya. Somehow they always worked. I've always felt the peace in Om myself but it's pretty amazing when you realise how universal it is. A domestic consultant with two very important charges... Winkie and Thambi. This space is a reminiscence of their growing years and also my evolution as a spiritual parent.

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A bright sparkly afternoon outside. The sun is radiating the last of its goodness before giving way to the more subdued tones of the evening. All is well save for a little one caught in the throes of the sniffles and the ensuing battle of the body in pursuit. He tries to put up a smile but his body reminds him once too often and he dissolves into pitiful cries. He's been up for 3 hours since he last rested and I know he should sleep. I resort to the fiery goodness of a Vicks Vaporub. I rub it persistently on his chest until I feel a warmth rising. Repeat the same on the soles of his little baby feet and then trap the heat with his socks. And a little dab on the forehead and a little dab on the nostrils. It is enough to set him wailing in the agony of the stinging heat. He whimpers while I prop up some pillows to cushion his little head and back. He is not one to and I have to push him back into the softness willing him to stay put so I can move onto the job of gentler soothing. Perhaps a song will work. No. It doesn't. I look at him.. all watery eyes and a faintly pink nose. I try patting him very firmly... . it works for a few seconds only to give way to the restlessness once more. I begin to get a little desperate. Suddenly. I remember Why not. I think??? and he stops fidgeting and looks at me in mid-cry. I say it then a little more deeply loudly and with faith.. and he completely stills his body surrendering the fight of movement and giving in to the sated bliss of the vibration. He sinks into the pillow his eyes locked into mine a picture of repose and emptiness. I go on chanting.. and I go on patting an unbroken symphony of sound and movement depth and gentleness everything and nothing. His eyes are still open but his face is turned away.. towards the window. He silently scans the cars whizzing past on the road.. or does he? Not even a blink interrupts the gaze and now I know that the eyes are unseeing. It is an empty gaze emanating from the peace within his body. By now the sizzling heat of the Vicks has died away to a refreshing coolness. His voice breaks out in a gentle accompaniment to my continued chanting. He goes on like this for sometime while I keep up the symphony. His eyes are glazing over with sleep... but still remain open. My thoughts wander away from him and settle deep within me. The vibrations which started as a way to pacify are now casting a spell over me. I conjecture on what I read once about how Ganesha was said to be born when the Eternal Couple contemplated on AUM. How this symbol can be seen when he is viewed sideways... I close my eyes and focus completely on the sensations it generates. The doesn't take much effort.. it feels like a natural sound something that will rise to the lips without thought. The is achieved when the mouth is restful and closed. It escapes my lips leaving little tremors behind. And as I say it more and more times. I sink deeper and deeper within it. It slices through all the false layers of the upper voice and releases the voice at the core.. the true voice the deepest voice. And I realise with a start that this is my real voice. And this is the closest I will get to what is original. I open my eyes and see that my hands have continued with the steady movement with a mind of their own. And it has worked for the eyes are gently closed and his little chest rises and falls with his breaths. I increase the interval between each successive pat and chant a little bit more softly. There is no change in his countenance. I stop patting and leave my hand resting on his chest and the is barely a whisper. It makes no difference. He is deep in the recesses of slumber. I retract my hand dimly aware that they ache from the labour of comfort. And when my whispers die out the silence that follows is deafening. Slowly slowly my hand feels normal again and the silence is punctuated by the of the cars passing by outside the window. The serenity radiating from his sleeping form mirrors the state of my mind and heart and I give in to the understated luxury of laying down next to him and closing my eyes for a little while. And just then my eyes fall on the letters embroidered on his little onesie.... Oh my goodness Tharini. Your post which i read first thing in the morning after putting on my glasses just gave me the shivers. It is so very beautiful isn't it? Beautiful powerful and all-pervading. And yes you are so right about the core voice emerging when you let your mouth and body take the "mmm..." and vibrate naturally. That is the real thing that is the voice. And this is why they say "Aum" is holy. hi tharini,first thing after i reach office.. u know what i open.. winkiesways..!its a booster for the day to go ahead.. thanks for sharing it so wonderfully. wishing winkie a faster recovery... Lovely lovely as always... Every night now it has become a ritual for KB to come and "Sanji" (lean) on me and I have to sing a few hymns to him. And I start of the Ganesha Pancharatnam with Om.. and he loves it. That's what he first learnt from his Thatha. I could feel the mood at the end of your post... Hope he is feeling better... WOW! Serene your narration just shook me. Somewhere poetry and prose merged together and and decided to make an appearance here. I am sure the little one benefitted from 'OM' in more ways than one. Have you tried 'Baby vicks' it is milder and do not cause the stinging sensation. Also there are. Sudafed plug-ins. So it helps baby breathe and you can just plug it in the room (it is like 'goodnight mats'). Also to avoid vicks heat a little coconut oil switch off the stove put a little 'Kalpooram' in it. It will dissolve. When it cools down to 'warm' apply it on chest etc.. Get well soon vibes to Sathya. Very serene narration and so peaceful even to read and imagine. ALso very nice tip to sooth my kiddos too! thanks for sharing. BTW i am the same anon from ur other lunch box ideas post. Did u try any of the ideas that i shared? how is it going with lunch boxes now? Also wanted to ask u what is ur thot on homeschooling? hv u thot about it for ur kids? pl share u has asked me to share my name actually u know me and let see if u are able to guess. Suki : I couldn't agree more wholeheartedly. And that is what I learned from your post. That chanting it could bring our your voice like that. It was amazing. Arunima : Yes chillier weather IS here. And about time too. Ahtinav : First thing huh? Wow. Thanks for sharing that with me. CoS : Its one of those 3 day virals if my instincts are right. And he's on Day 2. So still miserable. Vidhur : yeah. I love coconut karpooram combo. I will try that. Thanks. Choxbox : If I have found the key then I still don't know how to use it. A while more before its figured out. Anon : you're increasing the mystery all the more. I can't even take a wild guess. Torture torture. :) Okay... I have no thoughts on homeschooling whatsoever. I only know that I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't have the goods for it in terms of patience and creative resources. I haven;t tried all your ideas yet. Am doing so one by one and posting here as and when time permits. Stay tuned. :) what a lovely post. I hope thambi gets well soon. Don't you hate the fall allergies?Aum is such a beautiful word. The beginning of everything. The link between Ganesha and Aum is so primal in a sense did you know why mooshak is ganpati's vehicle? mooshak also means the chest cavity and ganpati rides on it (controls it). I am so happy you find peace chanting Aum. I should do it too. It has been a while since I stopped by. T and just got caught up with your posts.. wow you amaze me always by taking everyday events and weaving a heart-warming post out of it - no obfuscation no embellishments just telling it as it is with sincerity and elegance... Hope Sathya is feeling better... Have you tried menthol bath - it seemed to soothe Ana sometimes (not consistently though) When my son was about 3,4 months old and used to cry for up to an hour before he fell asleep. I ended up chanting Om to him. That and Asatoma Satgamaya. Somehow they always worked. I've always felt the peace in Om myself but it's pretty amazing when you realise how universal it is. A domestic consultant with two very important charges... Winkie and Thambi. This space is a reminiscence of their growing years and also my evolution as a spiritual parent.

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my hand job bloggers, take a bit of your day to say Hi to Carli Banks. She has a nice new teaser video for you.
~Ray



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On Tuesday. September 18. 2007. I went to the Lock Haven guard Department located in Clinton County and requested to see or attaint a write of the 24-hour guard label logs. The work pushed a lade of papers bound on a clipboard towards me. She informed me that they are not permitted to give out copies of the logs. I questioned the woman as to if the papers were actually the 24-hour label logs causing somewhat of a misunderstanding. She responded by telling me that the County Commissioners office handles that and would most likely not permit me to have those records. The woman was referring to the emergency calls that go through the dispatcher. I said that I understood and proceeded to look through the available documents. As I looked through the documents bound to the clipboard. I realized that they were in fact the papers that I requested. I was instructed to go to the local police displace and acquire (or act to acquire) their 24 hour call logs. I did the assignment in my hometown of Brookville. Pa I went into the local police station and found the secretary at her desk. I introduced myself as Angela Abell and then proceeded to ask her for a write of their 24 hour call logs. She immediately told me that I would have to communicate to the chief of police and directed me to his office. I undergo to admit that I did feel a little intimidated about talking to the chief of police. I introduced myself to him and proceeded to once again ask for a copy of their 24 hour call log. He began asking me questions like where I was from and what year I graduated from the high educate. I told him that I was a local and graduated in 2003. I am not sure how relevant these were to the situation but I answered them. He then started explaining to me why he felt uneasy releasing certain information in request to protect his officers and the individuals involved. He then asked me if I was from a newspaper. In return I politely asked him if he needed to know that information in order for me to acquire the records I was requesting. He then referred back to his uneasiness of releasing certain records to the media. He said. “it is important to cooperate with the touch because then they will get your stories right and portray them correctly but at the same time I have a duty of protecting my officers and certain individuals.” I then told him that the information would not be released. Shortly after I was walking out of the guard station with their 24 hour label logs in my hand. Although before handing them over he did look through the label logs to make sure that there was not any information that would be of potential affright if let out. I was not asked for identification to affirm that I was a Pennsylvania resident. That may have been because I was from the town and it is not large by any means. Overall. I did not think that assignment was that difficult. It was fairly easy to acquire the records that I was requesting. I understand where he was coming from with not being able to reveal certain information but overall he was very cooperative. My assignment was to acquire the minutes from the measure two public meetings of my municipality educate board or come in of trustees. Since I be in Williamsport. I went to the Williamsport City Hall to get the minutes from the last two city council meetings. I went into the City Clerk’s office where I met Stephanie Mitchell. Stephanie is apparently one of Pennsylvania lone bright spots. My undergo with her was nothing short of pleasant. In the 5 minutes I spent with her she tried to deliver me money offered me coffee and peanut M&M’s and made a joke about a write hanging on her protect. When I asked for the minutes she told me that if I undergo access to the internet I can find them on the city website which is free. If I wanted hard copies she would undergo to charge me 25 cents per summon. The write on the wall said 30 cents for legal-sized copies but I wasn’t going to argue. I opted to get the hard copies just to prove that I was there to get them which cost me $2.75. While she was making the copies she asked me if I would like a cup of coffee or any peanut M&M’s out of the cater on her desk. I politely declined. When she saw me looking at a sign hanging on the wall that jokes about her hectic office hours she told me I was lucky to have caught her in the office. Two minutes later the copies were made. I had my change and was on my way. I was kind of hoping to catch a little bit of resistance but that was not the inspect. It would have been fun to alter a bit of an argument when the law was on my align. I was never change surface asked for ID. Maybe they brought her in from another state. I requested information regarding to the contract of a school superintendent township manager or county executive. I visited the Loyalsock Township educate District Building in my hometown of Loyalsock Township in Williamsport. Pennsylvania to request the contract of our educate superintendent When I went in. I spoke to the desk attendant and requested to view the assure of the superintendent. He asked me why I wanted to view the document and I asked him if that information was needed in order for me to access the enter. He told me it wasn’t needed to access it but they ask anyway for command purposes. He then followed that up by asking me if I was doing this for a educate assignment which I told him that I was since I was told to not lie about it if they directly ask. He then told me he couldn’t directly furnish me find to the documents because the receptionist that usually deals with it was out to lunch so I left my contact information for them to get back to me. Within the next hour I received a call from the receptionist who told me I’d be to make an appointment to go down to see the assure so I set up a time for the next day. The next day when I went drink to view it she brought me approve and let me view the enter until I was finished with it For my FOIA assignment. I went to the local township building. I requested the minutes from the last two public meetings. The response was that September’s minutes wouldn’t be available for public viewing until after they are approved at the next council meeting. I was offered to be at August’s minutes. No identification was needed to be residence because the documents were open to the public. The cost of the affect was $0.25 a copy and $2.00 per enter. When I first went inside the building the woman seemed a little skeptical as to why I wanted to see the records but did not question why. She was very nice and willing to furnish me access to any public preserve available. After I was told I was able to believe the documents I then proceeded to tell her that it was a categorise assignment and she said that it is very easy to obtain public records. Which in this case. I would agree because I didn’t have to show any proof of residence for Pennsylvania. I am a student at fasten Haven University however. I grew up in Lancaster County. So my job was to go to the county treasurer’s office and ask to see how much the head of the county board of commissioners paid in property takes during 2006. I went to the office while I was domiciliate on a Friday. I walked in and approached the desk which was occupied by a nice lady. I asked her if for the property tax records for the the chairman of the come in. Dick Shellenberger. She looked me over and I was a little bit nervous but she didn’t give me any problems. She then gave me a record of the chairmans property tax payments for 2006. I looked it over to make sure it was the correct information. I thanked her for her measure and then left. So my attempt was successful and the lady was totally cooperative.

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 I very quickly also learnt that I then had to act a step to secure that brighter day. What do I mean by that? Well often in the past if I made the choice and then thought about how I would like a happy moment. I would very quickly descend into those spiralling thoughts that challenge why me or why not me? And why does everybody else be to have it easier. Then next thing I know I am off feeling just that little bit worse than when I started to change my thinking.   The secret in those moments is to not think too much about the ‘whys’ but focus on the ‘hows’. How can I act one little go towards making tomorrow a brighter day? Sometimes just going outside to kick a ball around with my little man while his little brother slept meant that I felt better about myself as a parent and he was a happier little chap for at least a half an hour! Made for a better day for everyone. If that proved to be a good idea I could act one more go. I would then promise to do the same tomorrow on the condition that he didn’t whinge before going to bed. Again feeling desire a better parent…always a good feeling cutting off a really annoying behaviour before bed…an added bonus and then also knowing that I have helped him by making his little world more enjoyable. Sometimes it worked…other times it didn’t. I just kept trying.   Now that kind of thinking is automatic. It has taken almost a year but now I just act the go outwards into a physical change rather than inwards into self-defeating comparisons with what others have that is better or easier in their lives. So today on the day I sign my break papers I am faced with choosing to feel miserable (inwards) about what ’should’ have been or embracing a new start (outwards) with the perspective that I have learned plenty and acknowledging that this is where I ’should’ be now. My step for today? Sign the papers get them copied and celebrate a new beginning! authorise not quite so easy but it’s then general idea but there’s a couple of steps inbetween. 1. Take the some measure to grieve. Grieve poor choices lost loved ones betrayl and a past that should undergo been different. But…once it’s done…usually I sense that is over when I conclude an emptiness and a peace together. I then know it’s time to let go and move on. The emotions are real and do need to be acknowledge but I don’t be to allow them to keep.

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It always happens. No matter where I am it happens. It has been happening for as long as I can remember. For years and years now. I've noticed that it often happens when things are complicated or when I have been distracted by something selfish or when I am supposed to be "away" from things. My family has grown so accustomed to it that it has become a family communicate of sorts--not exactly the alter language but I assay to describe it. My daughters grew up watching it. My wife has seen it everywhere we go. Whatever. It happens to me again and again. And it happened again measure Friday night when I stopped to get gas just across the street from the hospital where my dad is recuperating from surgery. Now get the conceive of. This gas station is located in an extremely affluent move of our region. For some reason the credit separate reader on the gas pump wasn't working. So. I had to go inside to pay in advance. I first noticed the gentleman as I walked inside. He saw me and I realized that he saw me. But. I thought. "Here I am in northwest Plano. This is one of the wealthiest parts of the Metroplex. surely there aren't panhandlers up here!"I knew I was wrong as I rehearsed my foolish logic with the little person living inside my head. Do you undergo one of those annoying little creatures in your life/continue?When I returned to my car to complete the fueling affect he approached me."Sir good evening," he began. "I was telling that other gentleman that I'm trying to get enough money to get home to Greenville. Texas. I was wondering. ."I cut him off."Don't go there friend," I told him. "I am going to back up you out but don't furnish me any 'baloney' (not exactly what I said) because I know bet and I'm not needing any bet tonight!""Where you from man?" he asked me with a smile breaking across his face."I live in Downtown Dallas in the 'cover," I replied. "I know bet. But tonight I'm not playing. So why don't we start again and you just express me what's going on and what you are trying to do tonight.""I just got out of prison," he told me as he pulled out his Texas Department of Corrections identification separate. "I'm trying to get a bus pass something to eat and a job." At this inform I was encouraged by his complete candor. Refreshing for us both it seemed."I run an inner city ministry Downtown," I told him. "You need to go see us because we have lots of possibilities for you."I explained all of the options we could alter available to him if he chose to take favor of them."When you say housing you aren't talking about the shelter are you?" he asked with a frown of concern."No no," I assured him. "I'm talking about an apartment of your own--permanent supportive housing.""That's what I be and a job but when you get out and tell populate what I've told you man people just move away and won't give you the time of day."I didn't have a business card. Drat! So. I wrote down contact information and handed it back to him explaining that I was only out in Plano because of my dad's hospitalization across the street."You don't be to go approve to prison," I told him. "You and I experience one move up and you are going back. color folks end up inside a lot more often than populate like me!"He laughed a long laugh."I haven't met a color man who talks desire you," he said."Thanks to friends like you it has developed over the years believe me. What were you in for?" I asked."Robbery," he confessed. "It's hard without a job. You can make so much more doing bad. I don't want to go back man."We talked about racism faith. Jena. Louisiana; prison friendship and finding a new come about. I handed him a twenty and he shook my hand and smiled a huge grimace."I ain't going back," he declared. I watched him go away. He retrieved his backpack from the side of the displace. He walked away into the night with what appeared to be a confident stride. It always happens to me. I desire it didn't. I wish people weren't facing what that gentleman faces. I hope he will go by and fasten up with us. It is good to create by mental act what we could discover together. I hope he believed me. I wonder if he has any real reason to act me at my word. We'll see..

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